opinions » humor

A dive into the wild

By Sneha Ojha | March 13, 2018, 1:17 p.m. | In Humor »

At 2:30 p.m. the "want-to-go homers" flee from the school grounds and into the wild, or as we call it, the student parking lot. In the wild there are no rules - it's every man for himself. The strong ones manage to make it out, but the weak are stuck behind, left to fight it out in the line behind the buses.

The Bachelor Week 6 recap and Week 7 Predictions

By Eric Feigen, Emma Markus, Sneha Ojha, Noah Stern, Rebecca Wessel, Ellie Williams | Feb. 13, 2018, 7:06 p.m. | In Humor »

This week, the women and Arie travel across the Atlantic to Paris. When the women get to their hotel, which is really a giant boat, they are informed of a two-on-one date, where two girls will go and only one can stay.

The Bachelor Week 3 recap and Week 4 predictions

By Eric Feigen, Emma Markus, Sneha Ojha, Noah Stern, Rebecca Wessel, Ellie Williams | Jan. 21, 2018, 12:44 p.m. | In Humor »

Arie planned yet another concussion-inducing date this past week. This time he brought the women to a makeshift wrestling ring where they fake fought one another.

The Bachelor Week 2 recap and Week 3 predictions

By Eric Feigen, Emma Markus, Sneha Ojha, Noah Stern, Rebecca Wessel, Ellie Williams | Jan. 15, 2018, 2:25 p.m. | In Humor »

This past week on the Bachelor, Arie, our graying, race-car-driving, dad-bod-rocking Bachelor, kicked off the season by officially becoming Becca K.'s sugar daddy. Arie then decided that his date with Krystal would be a good time to fly her all the way to Arizona to meet his entire family.

How to spot a fire technician

By Amy Forsbacka | April 20, 2017, 2:04 p.m. | In Humor »

Trump selects a motley crew of cabinet members

By Charles Lott | Nov. 30, 2016, 5:20 p.m. | In Humor »

President-elect Donald Trump has spent the first month after the election sorting out who will be the chief officers during his time in the Oval Office. Trump's selections have been so outlandish, that the next position could be filled by any one of the following infamous celebrity icons.

Are you game?

By Charles Lott, Benjamin Yokoyama | Nov. 2, 2016, 1:02 p.m. | In Humor »

Most of the time, class is fun and engaging. But when you're just not feeling it, a much-needed break can pay dividends. If you're done with your assignment and looking to kill some time, here are some ideas for how you can turn a boring hour and a half into a fun one.

The mystery behind the cover

By Charles Lott | Sept. 22, 2016, 2:12 p.m. | In Humor »

Each year, the agenda books distributed to the students of Blair on the first day of school feature a new design. Check your booklet; if you have the one with all the squares and triangles, look closely in the bottom left corner, and you'll find two words, one name: Scott Gahart.

Rent-a-prom-date

By Charles Lott | May 30, 2016, 4:20 p.m. | In Humor »

"This is strictly a platonic Friendship website. This is NOT a dating website, and NOT an escort agency. Services on this website are strictly for FRIENDSHIP purposes only." These guidelines are plastered across the various pages, headlines, and banners of website RentAFriend.com, where you can hire somebody to spend time with you for between ten and forty dollars an hour. Prostitution is illegal in forty nine out of fifty states, but paying someone to be your friend isn't illegal in any. Should it be?

The inside scoop on motivational posters

By Charles Lott | Jan. 26, 2016, 2:58 p.m. | In Humor »

Blair students have differing opinions on what effect these peppy, brightly colored slogans actually have on a student's performance in the class and whether a laminated image of an athlete trying their best will suddenly bring to memory a forgotten formula midway through a semester exam.

Vitamin Shoppe replaces Carvel Ice Cream and Jerry's Subs and Pizza

By Charles Lott | Nov. 22, 2015, 10:06 a.m. | In Humor »

The Jerry's Subs and Pizza and Carvel Ice Cream stores formerly situated next to the 7-11 at Four Corners have both been closed down. And which company has decided to take advantage of this hotbed of high school consumers? The Vitamin Shoppe.

There's never next year

By Nicholas Shereikis | Oct. 13, 2015, 1:17 p.m. | In Humor »

The Nationals, the Redskins, the Capitals, and the Wizards. What do all four of these teams have in common? The answer is obvious if you're a D.C. sports fan – none of them have won a championship in over two decades.

New words added to Scrabble dictionary include lolz, shizzle and twerk

By Charles Lott | Sept. 18, 2015, 8:36 p.m. | In Humor »

Featured are some of the hip new words that you can use to pull off an unlikely victory against your parents in Scrabble.

#WakaForPresident

By Nicholas Shereikis | May 21, 2015, 12:53 p.m. | In Humor »

A bright light shines through the hopelessly entangled jungle that is American politics. I'm talking, of course, about rapper Waka Flocka Flame.

Extra time

By Nicholas Shereikis | March 8, 2015, 7:25 p.m. | In Humor »

After months of intense deliberation and serious debate, the Montgomery County Public Schools (MCPS) Board of Education (BOE) has made a momentous decision.

SCO snoWatch: January 26, 2015 (take two)

By Brian Le | Jan. 26, 2015, 10:42 p.m. | In Humor »

Yesterday's snowstorm left us less than enchanted and wetter than we'd like. Could its second leg give us the snow day we're after?

SCO snoWatch: January 26, 2015

By Brian Le, Zoe Johnson | Jan. 24, 2015, 10:20 p.m. | In Humor »

How-ev-er, before the snow day comes the call, and before the call comes predictions. SCO, of course, is the most accurate predictor of snow days; so stick around for updates on whether we'll be having a snow day this Monday.

The Strength in Numbers

By Rohan Oprisko | Dec. 5, 2014, 1:18 p.m. | In Humor »

Instead of following the high school trends of under- or overdressing for the cold, all that is necessary is to use layers effectively. To fully understand why using layers instead of a big bulky coat or no coat at all, we will analyze each way to dress.

America faces biggest threat since the Red Scare

By Nicholas Shereikis | Oct. 29, 2014, 4:16 p.m. | In Humor »

Horrifyingly, yoga pants and other articles of the female wardrobe are slowly becoming extinct in school districts around America. Young women nationwide are being forced to give up their freedom to dress as they choose in order to prevent their male counterparts from becoming distracted.

The clock must rotate faster

By Robert Pfefferle | Oct. 26, 2014, 3:03 p.m. | In Humor »

Blair is home to almost 3,000 students, or, one might say, 3,000 sleep-deprived zombies.

You might want to double check that

By Jacob Popper | Sept. 13, 2014, 12:17 p.m. | In Humor »

It's (almost) 2015, which is supposed to be Blair's Eightieth 80th anniversary, and last time I checked, 2015 minus 1925 equals 90, not 80

Goodbye, penny

By Robert Pfefferle | Sept. 11, 2014, 1:46 p.m. | In Humor »

No offense to Abe Lincoln, but it's time for the U.S. to retire the penny.

Poor us: losing the last day of summer vacation

By Amalia Chiapperino | Aug. 25, 2014, 12:41 p.m. | In Humor »

But this year, in addition to all that, they'll also have to deal with something much worse: the wrath of approximately 2,200 teenagers, very annoyed at having to be at school.

SCO snoWatch: Winter 2013

By Aanchal Johri | Dec. 8, 2013, 1:06 p.m. | In Humor »

Bundle up Blazers, with just about a month left in the semester, this might just be the perfect time for a snow day.

Nothing comes free kids

By Ross Cohen-Kristiansen | Oct. 29, 2013, 10:47 p.m. | In Humor »

As the little "innocent" trick-or-treaters stroll from house to house, many adults are inclined to dish out sweets left and right. But sensible individuals, like myself, know just how conniving these little kids really are.