America faces biggest threat since the Red Scare

Oct. 29, 2014, 4:16 p.m. | By Nicholas Shereikis | 9 years, 6 months ago

School prohibition of yoga pants begins nationwide

My fellow Americans, I write to you today in the shadow of a monstrous threat to our country. Not since the Red Scare have we faced such a dire threat to the well-being of our nation. I'm speaking of that which has the potential to leave our society in tatters—a barren wasteland where a great power once stood. I'm talking, of course, about the recent prohibition of yoga pants around the country. Although not yet at Blair, this prohibition is quickly spreading across the nation. Places like Weymouth Public Schools, Massachusetts; Haven Middle School, Illinois; Marlow School District, Oklahoma; and Minnetonka High School, Minnesota, have already implemented this change in the dress code.

Horrifyingly, yoga pants and other articles of the female wardrobe are slowly becoming extinct in school districts around America. No longer can teenage girls walk the halls of their institution of education in comfort; gone are the days of skinny jeans, jeggings, and tights. Young women nationwide are being forced to give up their freedom to dress as they choose in order to prevent their male counterparts from becoming distracted.

As a 16-year-old male, I can say with 100 percent assuredness that nobody asked for this change. There was no petition among students to ban yoga pants and nobody wrote to their local congressman about the issue. It definitely didn't come from the millions of male students who are 'forced' to spend time staring at girls' clothing, and it even more definitely didn't come from the girls themselves. This prohibition, and the reasons cited for it, originated exclusively as a way of controlling students, as well as an attempt to halt changing women's fashion.

After talking with a couple of girls, I've reached a startling conclusion: Girls don't wear tight clothing because they want to appeal to boys! Nor do they wear them because they want to look "easy," as some school districts are suggesting with the ban. No! Contrary to popular belief, girls wear clothing like yoga pants or jeggings because they're comfortable.

Aside from the obvious issues concerning freedom of expression and possible violation of Constitutional rights, this prohibition of tight clothing also poses an interesting question – where do we stop? First yoga pants, then crop tops. Next thing you know we're all living in convents and monasteries, wearing monk robes and nun habits. Which brings us to another question – what do these schools expect their female students to wear? As far as I can tell, the majority of the bottom half of the female wardrobe is comprised of jeggings, yoga pants, and jeans. By removing all those from the equation, what the school is basically asking for is sweat pants every day of the week for the rest of the year. And that's just absurd.

Oh, there are other options: dresses (as long as they're not too tight) or skirts (as long as they're a certain length). But the girls' freedom to choose is still hugely limited.

What is this teaching today's youth? By imposing limitations on female students just because teenage boys can't control themselves, we are teaching girls to be ashamed of their bodies. That's "slut-shaming" and it's a serious issue even without our local governments encouraging it. Furthermore, these prohibitions are essentially giving boys license to let themselves go, and even suggest that it is acceptable to objectify women and treat them with disrespect. Obviously it's impossible to completely eradicate things like the occasional wandering eye. Every now and then, a boy's hormones will slap him across the face and cause him to think in a way probably inappropriate for young children. But that doesn't mean that we should encourage those feelings to such an extreme that it becomes externalized through sexual harassment or assault. By allowing it to go unchecked, all we are doing is encouraging the expansion and growth of such things.

This change to the dress codes portrays women's bodies as a potential threat to the innocence of a man who might be tempted to sexually harass or assault them, essentially transforming the girls into the villains of the issue and exonerating the males.

So, let's go over the pros and cons of this change in the dress code. On the plus side, it…no, wait, there is no plus side. It's educational, but teaches the wrong things. By implementing this new prohibition, we are: encouraging slut-shaming and the objectification of women, casting women as at fault for distracting the 'innocent boys,' possibly violating the freedom of expression guaranteed in the First Amendment, and asking girls to wear sweatpants almost every day of the year.

Now let's review what prompted this: nothing! Nobody affected by this dress code change had any part in causing it. It's absurd, and we need to stop the spread as soon as we can. Because yoga pants, aside from being comfortable (I'm told), constitute a major part of the female wardrobe. And without them, the world becomes a much darker place.

Tags: outrage Yoga pants

Nicholas Shereikis. "Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete? Proving nature's laws wrong, it learned to walk without having feet. Funny it seems, but by keeping its dreams; it learned to breathe fresh air. Long live the rose that grew … More »

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