TV Smackdown

Watching TV has always been a battle with the clock. With seven
national stations broadcasting 24/7, when does the madness stop?
(Don't even get us started on cable.) Not to worry: Chips is here to
pick out the shows worth your time. With our help, you'll be able to
get your fix and still have time to finish your homework. Because
there's nothing worse for a TV junkie than being grounded in his
room... with a TV....

"Desperate Housewives" vs. "The O.C."

After two sordid seasons of America's favorite housewives, there comes
the inevitable question: Just how much dirty laundry is left to be
aired out? By now we've seen stabbings, shootings, poisonings,
adultery in all its multifarious forms, alcoholism, homosexuality and
— of course — the requisite catfight involving a nun. This fall,
"Desperate Housewives" promises even more of the same labyrinthine
drama that made it a hit with both critics and audiences. Fans will
be glad to know that their gripes about the last season were
addressed: Producer Marc Cherry assures us that this time, the plot
will be both juicier and quicker to the punch. Whether the show lives
up to his prediction remains to be seen, but with rumors about Mike
contracting amnesia, more people getting pregnant and the looming
death of a main character, the potential exists for a fireworks
display of strife and paisley underwear.

On "The O.C.," tragedy has already struck. Marissa's dramatic
departure last season left a maelstrom of teenage angst in her wake.
But not too much angst: This season, the characters march off to
college to encounter a world of (even more) bingeing, partying and
sex. Not that anybody expected any less, but maybe somewhere in the
transition, a bit more meat will be added to the show's rather skinny
premise. Offscreen, FOX has revealed that it ordered only 16 episodes
for this year. Prescient viewers will note that in a similar move
last year, Fox cut short the third season of "Arrested Development" —
right before cancelling the fourth. Looks like this primetime soap
just might waste away.

"Desperate Housewives" airs Sundays at 9 p.m. on ABC. "The O.C."
airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. on FOX.

"CSI" vs. "CSI" vs. "CSI"

Much has been said about the sexy Las Vegas, spicy Miami and
glitzy-grimy New York, but how to compare the three? Luckily, CBS
made the matter easy for viewers by scheduling the three flavors of
its juggernaut drama, "Crime Scene Investigation," for separate
weeknights. Yet, for those whose appetite for gory dismemberment and
oddball violence doesn't extend to three hours a week, a choice
remains. If we go by seniority, the original "CSI" is the clear
winner. Entering into its seventh season this fall, "CSI" presents a
seasoned cast with a rich dynamic and scripts that are alluring and
darkly humorous.

But we can't overlook the younger siblings. Just as Ashlee Simpson
isn't a total loser compared to Jessica, both "CSI: Miami" and "CSI:
New York" don't have anything wrong that a little makeup (or plastic
surgery) won't fix. "Miami" still tends to feature the more gruesome
cases, making up for it with a sunshine-and-piña-coladas backdrop.
But "New York," which offers the freshest plots (feces falling 30,000
feet as a murder weapon?) and a brilliant cast featuring Gary Sinise
and Melina Kanakaredes, will likely be the one to watch this fall.

"CSI" airs Thursdays at 9 p.m., "CSI: Miami" airs Mondays at 10
p.m., and "CSI: NY" airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. All air on CBS.

"House" vs. "Grey's Anatomy"

Thanks to "House" creator David Shore, the medical drama has moved
past simple doctor-patient relations and now comes close to almost
revealing too much about your doctors. (Do we really want to know if
our doctors sleep with each other?) In season three of "House," the
cantankerous Dr. House returns to the hospital — without his trademark
limp — after recovering from a gunshot fired by one of his former
patients. And as if being shot wasn't enough, House may be shut down
for good when a detective comes in mid-season to investigate his
Vicodin addiction.

As for creator Shonda Rhyme's water-cooler hit "Grey's Anatomy," also
in its third season, the Meredith-McDreamy-Addison love triangle will
finally be resolved (sort of), making a kind of lopsided isosceles
triangle, according to inside sources. The caliber of these two shows
is so high, we can't decide which one to watch. If you like the
"medical" in medical dramas, watch "House" for the Sherlock
Holmes-type mysteries and the witty, irreverent humor. And if you
like the "drama" in medical dramas, watch "Grey's Anatomy" for the
human relationships and Meredith's valuable — yet slightly annoying —
insights. Or for the kissy-kissy.

"House" airs on Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on Fox. "Grey's Anatomy" airs on
Thursdays at 9 p.m. on ABC.

"Lost" vs. "Prison Break"

Die-hard "Lost" fans have probably had it up to here with all the
island's mysteries, inconclusive storylines and tantalizing
cliffhangers. After all, our motley crew of castaways have spent more
than 60 days on a deserted island with no relief in sight — how much
more can they (and we) take? But each week, we just can't resist
tuning in to this addictive drama. (It helps that the scriptwriters
seem to incorporate a mind-blowing twist into almost every episode.)
After last year's explosive season finale, season three promises to
finally allay fans' burning questions, such as: Who are the Others?
How in the world did they get so fugly? Were they born that way? And
most importantly: Who will Kate choose, goody-good Jack or bad-boy
Sawyer? Don't get too attached, though — "Lost" returns for only six
weeks before going on a 13-week hiatus to shoot more episodes.

The other non-stop action hit this season is FOX's "Prison Break,"
which centers around, oddly enough, a prison break. But this season,
Michael Scofield and the other cons have escaped and are on the lam,
prompting federal authorities to launch the most expansive manhunt in
American history. Now that we've seen the daily grind of penitentiary
life, we're looking forward to seeing "Prison Break's" charismatic
young star (the delicious Wentworth Miller) shed those ugly prison
scrubs and lead the crew in further mischief and maraudering, all
while eluding the vengeful Warden Pope and trying to hook up with the
prison's morphine-addicted doctor. (Complicated, eh?) After an
intense first season, we're just keeping our fingers crossed that
"Prison Break" won't fall into the dreaded sophomore slump.

"Lost" airs on Wednesdays at 9 p.m. on ABC. "Prison Break" airs on
Mondays at 8 p.m. on FOX.

New Blood

Sick of tired TV scraps and hungry for some new meat? These three
picks from the newest crop of fall shows have garnered the best
critical reviews so far. With some loyal fan followers, these new
offerings could join the ranks of the heavyweights sooner than you
think.

"Heroes": This NBC drama stars a group of ordinary people who discover
they have superpowers, and must band together to save the world.
Sounds clichéd, but the star-studded, multicultural cast and some cool
special effects might just save this one from the scrap heap.
"Heroes" airs on Mondays at 9 p.m. on NBC.

"The Nine": Another show trying to play off "Lost"'s success, ABC's
"The Nine" follows a group of diverse characters held hostage in a
bank and their interconnected lives after the event. With quicker
resolutions and a faster-paced plot, along with plenty of
heart-pounding action and suspense, "The Nine" will keep viewers glued
to their seats. "The Nine" airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. on ABC.

"Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip": Amanda Peet, Matthew Perry and
Bradley Whitford star in this critical gem that satirizes the
behind-the-scenes action at a live sketch comedy show. Coming from
veteran producer Aaron Sorkin (fresh from his of "The West Wing"
fame), this show will stimulate your brain and tickle your funny bone.
"Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" airs Mondays at 10 p.m. on
NBC.