On your marks, get set, TiVo!

After a turbulent and chaotic television season distinguished by countless cancellations, delays and botched story-lines (thank you, writers), the industry has finally moved on with the show. Regrettably, most of our lives are still held up in high school (and not the glamorous "Gossip Girl" kind of place), and many will have to face the delicate dilemma of balancing dreaded homework with fall television premieres: what to do, watch the premiere of "Grey's Anatomy" or write that pesky English paper due the following day? Fortunately for those going back and forth, Silver Chips Online is here with a preview of the fall's hottest television shows - including the essential information on all of last season's cliff-hangers, upcoming guest stars and the confusing plot lines. We'll tell you everything you need to plan out your TV-viewing schedule and premiere parties.

The Big Bang Theory: Sept. 22 - 8 p.m.

How I Met Your Mother: Sept. 22 - 8:30 p.m.
Ted Mosby (Josh Madnor) continues to tell his children the story of how he met his wife in the fourth season of CBS's "How I Met Your Mother." Last season ended with Ted proposing to his ex-girlfriend, Stella (Sarah Chalke). This upcoming season will tie up that loose end and examine how Barney (Neil Patrick Harris), Ted's comical, womanizing comrade, deals with his love interest, Robin (Cobie Smulders). Also, expect Marshall (Jason Segel) and Lily (Alyson Hannigan) to face money problems in the upcoming season. Regus Philbin is scheduled to guest star as himself.

Two and a Half Men: Sept. 22 - 9 p.m.
"Two and a Half Men" kicks off its sixth season with hedonistic Malibu bachelor Charlie Herper (Charlie Sheen) encountering a woman from his past (Rena Sofer guest-starring) who has a son who closely resembles Charlie. With younger, prudent brother Alan (Jon Cryer) and nephew Jake (Angus Jones) still living with Charlie, expect the same week-to-week humor to be evident in the new season.

Worst Week: Sept. 22 - 9:30 p.m.

CSI: Miami: Sept. 22 - 9:30 p.m.

NCIS: Sept. 23 - 8 p.m.

The Mentalist: Sept. 23 - 9 p.m.

Without a Trace: Sept. 23 - 10 p.m.

New Adventures of Old Christine: Sept. 24 - 8 p.m.

Gary Unmarried: Sept. 24 - 8:30 p.m.

Criminal Minds: Sept. 24 - 9 p.m.

CSI: NY: Sept. 24 - 10 p.m.

Survival: Gabon: Sept. 25 - 8 p.m.
"Survivor" has amazingly lasted 16 seasons, although the mother of reality TV may need to step down soon. This time around, 18 contestants try to live in Gabon – "Earth's last Eden." To spice up the show, "Survivor" has added pseudo-celebrities to the cast, including Ken Hoang, world-known professional gamer, and Crystal Cox, track gold medalist at the 2004 Summer Olympics. Although there will still be predictable immunity challenges, lies, alliances and romances, producer Mark Burnett will be sure to pull tricks out of his sleeve. After all, this is "Earth's last Eden."

Amazing Race 13: Sept. 28 - 8 p.m.

Cold Case: Sept. 28 - 9 p.m.

The Unit: Sept. 28 - 10 p.m.

Ghost Whisperer: Oct. 3 - 8 p.m.

The Ex List: Oct. 3 - 9 p.m.

Numbers: Oct. 3 - 10 p.m.

CSI: Oct. 9 - 9 p.m.

Eleventh Hour: Oct. 9 - 10 p.m.

Biggest Loser: Families: Sept. 16 - 8 p.m.

Heroes: Sept. 22 - 8 p.m.
After a 10-month hiatus, our favorite superhumans are finally back in action. The third season, aptly dubbed "Villains," is set to bring the series into a darker and more dramatic atmosphere. As sinister Sylar (Zachary Quinto) reclaims his lost powers, the "villains" locked away in Level 5 escape. The season trailer certainly leaves viewers yearning for answers more than ever before. Will Claire (Hayden Panettiere) finally fall victim to Sylar's crusade? What are the dark secrets and plans of the Company? How will Mohinder (Sendhil Ramamurthy), Peter (Milo Ventimiglia), Hiro (Masi Oka) and other returning characters face a bleak future?

Law and Order: SVU: Sept. 23 - 10 p.m.

Knight Rider: Sept. 24 - 8 p.m.

Lipstick Jungle: Sept. 24 - 10 p.m.

My Name Is Earl: Sept. 25 - 8 p.m.
"My Name is Earl" starts its fourth season as Earl (Jason Lee) continues along his karmic journey undoing every wrongdoing he did in his earlier life. Catalina (Nadine Velazquez) will look into a career change, as she starts to work as a motel maid. Also this season, Earl's brother Randy (Ethan Suplee) will be exploring the dating world, while Joy (Jaime Pressley) will see a change of lifestyle when her husband Darnell (Eddie Steeples) is put in the witness protection program. Earl's ex-wife (Alyssa Milano) is expected to guest star in four episodes this season, and Seth Green will make a guest-star appearance in the season premiere.

The Office: Sept. 25 - 9 p.m.
Everyone's favorite paper company is back open for business this fall, with the upcoming premiere of the fifth season of NBC's "The Office." The last season left off with human resources representative Toby (Paul Lieberstein) leaving for good. Another departure from the show is Ryan (B.J. Novak), the young and troubled manager fired for fraud last season. The new season begins with his replacement, Holly (Amy Ryan), coming to Scranton. Also in this season, Jim and Pam's relationship becomes strained as Pam attends art school in New York. With Pam gone, an unannounced replacement receptionist for Dunder Mifflin is expected. An "Office" spinoff is also expected early next year, according to NBC.

ER: Sept. 25 - 10 p.m.

Chuck: Sept. 29 - 8 p.m.
Geeky – check. Nerdy – check. Adorable – double check. Chuck Bartowski (Zachary Levi), the lovable yet socially awkward nerd, finds his way back onto NBC after a strong first season. Chuck is an ordinary tech junkie, working at a Best Buy-like store called "Buy More," until he unknowingly downloads government secrets into his brain. Thus NSA agent John Casey (Adam Baldwin) enters Chuck's life, seeking to recruit him for spy work. Casey's partner Sarah Walker (Yvonne Strahovski) also intrudes upon poor Chuck, as she must protect him 24/7 from potential intelligence thieves. Sarah's stunning beauty only complicates Chuck's life - as he quickly develops a crush on her, his childlike adoration of Sarah creates a geek relationship filled with comical sexual tension. At the same time, Chuck must keep his government involvement a secret from his hilarious best friend Morgan Grimes (Joshua Gomez) and kind sister, Ellie (Sarah Lancaster). Expect twice the action, romance and drama in season two as cutie Chuck becomes more comfortable with Sarah, and cross your fingers that the delightful Chuck-Sarah relationship will bloom this season. If that's not enough, two times the action means Chuck will apparently die. Twice.

Life: Sept. 29 - 10 p.m.

Kath & Kim: Oct. 9 - 8:30 p.m.

My Own Worst Enemy: Oct. 13 - 10 p.m.

Crusoe: Oct. 17 - 8 p.m.

30 Rock: Oct. 30 - 9:30 p.m.
Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) is back in the third season of "30 Rock" and continues to manage the stresses of producing a primetime television show while ex-boss, Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) will continue the job he took at the end of last season in politics. Exciting guest stars are expected for the upcoming season of "30 Rock," with Jennifer Anniston playing Liz's former roommate who, while visiting, stalks Jack. "30 Rock" will look to build on an already high critical rapport, with 17 nominations for the Emmy awards this year - a new record. Also, Oprah Winfrey is expected to guest-star as herself in the second episode, followed by Blake Lively and Leighton Meester later on in the season according to Entertainment Weekly.

Dancing with the Stars: Sept. 22 - 8 p.m.
Season seven of "Dancing with the Stars" begins with 13 new stars instead of the standard dozen. Among them include big names such as 'N SYNC star Lance Bass, model and reality TV star Kim Kardashian and Olympic beach volleyball champion Misty May-Treanor. Expect NFL player Warren Sapp to fill the dancing shoes of last season's NFL player Jason Taylor, who wowed the crowd with a second-place finish. This season, "Dancing with the Stars" boasts contestants with a wide range of ages. From 82-year-old Cloris Leachman, who won eight primetime Emmys, to 18-year-old "Hannah Montana" star Cody Linley, the cast is packed with a variety of celebrities. Although actors dominate the stage, watch for TV chef Rocco DiSpirito to spice things up, and Grammy Award winner Toni Braxton to give it her all despite her heart problems.

Boston Legal: Sept. 22 - 10 p.m.

Opportunity Knocks: Sept. 23 - 8 p.m.

Ugly Betty: Sept. 25 - 8 p.m.
No more will little Betty be shy and child-like. In season three, America Ferrera's Betty will grow up and become a woman. Although her braces will probably not come off, Betty will become more mature in other respects and finally make the life-changing decision: sandwich-maker Gio (Freddy Rodriguez) or skinny-boy Henry (Christopher Gorham)? The complicated love triangle will become a love square when Betty starts eyeing singer Jesse, her new next-door neighbor. The drama at MODE will persist, as the Meade baby will be born and tensions will run thick between Claire and Alexis after Wilhemina (Vanessa Williams) forces Daniel (Eric Mabius) out of the Editor-in-Chief position at MODE. The duo Amanda (Becki Newton) and Mark (Michael Urie) will both be as fabulous and hilarious as ever, as they carry on individual pursuits – Amanda, with the search for her father and Mark, with his infatuation with his lover Cliff. Watch for thrilling cameo appearances by Lindsay Lohan, who will play Betty's former high school classmate Kimmie, and model Adriana Lima and the posh Victoria Beckham to play themselves.

Grey's Anatomy: Sept. 25 - 9 p.m.
"Grey's" runs on the philosophy that more drama is better for everyone. So expect no less from the Seattle Grace doctors as they enter operating rooms in season five. Last season ended on an ambiguous note when unexpected couples locked lips, and the new season will hopefully resolve the buzzing questions. Callie (Sara Gomez) will continue her pursuit of the tough Erica Hahn (Brooke Smith), as suggested by the couple's unexpected kiss last season. Sarcastic Cristina (Sandra Oh) will finally find a new love interest and end her lugubrious yet excessive pining for Burke (Isiah Washington). Derek (Patrick Dempsey) and Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) will also finally be together, although the pesky Nurse Rose (Lauren Stamile) may bring potential baby news to Derek. Despite the drama, creator Shondra Rhimes has given at least one character, Izzy (Katherine Heigl), a definite chance at true love, according to TV Guide. The characters will become more mature this season. Even player McSteamy (Eric Dane) will tire of sleeping around and vie for stable romance. Thus season five's love stories will be an incentive to watch the doctors finally find some real romance and perform some awe-inspiring surgeries.

Desperate Housewives: Sept. 28 - 9 p.m.
The ladies of Wisteria Lane are back on an all-new season of ABC's "Desperate Housewives." The fifth season will jump five years into the future when Edie (Nicollette Sheridan) is projected to return to the neighborhood after she was driven out by drama related to her kiss with Orson (Kyle MacLachlan). Aside from that, Susan (Teri Hatcher) will develop a new romantic interest and Bree (Marcia Cross) will be on the verge of publishing a cookbook. Because of the five-year gap, this season will feature a new cast playing the children of the housewives. Tom and Lynette's children, Preston, Porter and Parker, who will now be played by Max Carver, Charlie Carver and Joshua Moore respectively according to the Hollywood Reporter.

Brothers & Sisters: Sept. 28 - 10 p.m.
The seemingly high-society yet dysfunctional and down-to-earth Walker family struggle to maintain order in their tumultuous lives in season three of "Brothers and Sisters." As the Walker children discover new buried family secrets, the Walkers struggle to keep the family business afloat. Kitty (Calista Flockhart) and Robert McCallister (Rob Lowe) plan to adopt. Saul (Ron Rifkin) copes with his now exposed identity. Justin (Dave Annable) and Rebecca (Emily VanCamp) make futile attempts to keep their relationship a secret. Kevin (Matthew Rhys) carefully balances his job security with his boyfriend Scotty (Luke Macfarlane). And the all-knowing and good-intentioned Nora (Sally Field) just tries to stay on top of it all. Despite the troubles that ail them and family drama that seemingly never lets up, the Walkers manage to stick together through good times and bad.

Pushing Daisies: Oct. 1 - 8 p.m.
The witty fairytale "Pushing Daisies" returns with a full season after only nine of the 22 shows aired last season due to the writers' strike. Ned (Lee Pacer) comes back as the quirky and introverted pie-maker and owner of the restaurant The Pie Hole, who can revitalize life with a single touch. However, once he brings back lives, he cannot touch the individuals again because they will die. This holds true for his childhood love Chuck Charles (Anna Friel), whom Ned revitalized and thus cannot touch for fear of her death. Season two follows the very adorable love between Ned and Chuck, while Ned continues to help solve murder mysteries with Private Investigator Emerson (Chi McBride). Expect Olive, a waiter at The Pie Hole who is "hopelessly devoted" to Ned, to move to the nunnery, and Ned's aunts Lily (Swoosie Kurtz) and Vivian (Ellen Greene) to make appearances at The Pie Hole.

Private Practice: Oct. 1 - 9 p.m.

Dirty Sexy Money: Oct. 1 - 10 p.m.

Samantha Who?: Oct. 13 - 9:30 p.m.

Eli Stone: Oct. 14 - 10 p.m.

Gossip Girl: Sept. 1 - 8 p.m.
"Gossip Girl" returns with more juice and scandal than ever. Last season's finale ended with all the couples falling apart, and season two only ushers in more drama. Look for Chuck (Ed Westwick) and Blair (Leighton Meister) to become the dirty new "it" couple in town, and previous love-doves Dan (Penn Badgley) and Serena (Blake Lively) to be separated. Shockingly, the seductive Nate (Chace Crawford) begins a relationship with a new mystery woman who is neither Blair nor Serena. Expect a fabulous return from "Gossip Girl" with new actors, plot twists and of course, designer clothes.

One Tree Hill: Sept. 1 - 9 p.m.

90210: Sept. 2 - 8 p.m.

Privileged: Sept. 9 - 9 p.m.

Smallville: Sept. 18 - 8 p.m.

Supernatural: Sept. 18 - 9 p.m.

In Harm's Way: Sept. 21 - 7 p.m.

Valentine: Sept. 21 - 8 p.m.

Easy Money: Sept. 21 - 9 p.m.

Everybody Hates Chris: Oct. 3 - 8 p.m.

The Game: Oct. 3 - 8:30 p.m.

Stylista: Oct. 29 - 9 p.m.

Prison Break: Sept. 1 - 8 p.m.

Bones: Sept. 3 - 8 p.m.
Forensic anthropologist Dr. "Bones" Brennan (Emily Deschanel) at the Jeffersonian Institution and Special Agent Seeley Booth (David Boreanaz) return for season four of tantalizing murder investigations. As the chemistry between Brennan and Booth heats up, viewers will be looking to see if Brennan and Booth take their professional relationship to the next level. After Zach's (Eric Millegan) injuries and arrest as a criminal, his position as Brennan's brilliant assistant seems to be all but over. Michael Badalucco, formerly from "The Practice," is anticipated to replace the role. Returning cast members include Michaela Conlin as Angela Montenegro, T. J. Thyne as Jack Hodgins and Camille Soroyan as Tamara Taylor. Expect "Bones" to deliver another drama, crime and action packed season.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: Sept. 8 - 8 p.m.

Fringe: Sept. 9 - 8 p.m.

'Til Death: Sept. 10 - 9 p.m.

Do Not Disturb: Sept. 10 - 9:30 p.m.

Hole in the Wall: Sept. 11 - 8 p.m.
A little off the beaten trail, "A Hole in the Wall," hosted by Brooke Burns and Mark Thompson, is part of the recent surge in Americanized Japanese game shows. Commonly known as "Human Tetris" and already airing in 15 other countries, contestants will have to conform their bodies into various shapes in order to clear incoming moving walls. Success spells money while failure results in a dip into a murky pool of goo. Contestants may make fools out of themselves, but the show brings plenty of laughs at every turn.

House: Sept. 16 - 9 p.m.
Misanthropic, crude and a modern-day medical Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie) returns to Princeton-Plainview Teaching Hospital in New Jersey for the fifth season. However, this time around, not all is well between him and his best friend Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard) after House becomes indirectly responsible for the death of Wilson's girlfriend. Even as Cuddy (Lisa Edelstein) desperately tries to patch up the pieces and mend the wounds left from last season, life goes on. Drs. Foreman (Omar Epps), Cameron (Jennifer Morrison) and Chase (Jesse Spencer) continue their careers while Drs. Taub (Peter Jacobson), Kutner (Kal Penn) and "Thirteen" (Olivia Wilde) continue as House's new medical team, inevitably to be the butt of House's antics and sarcastic criticism once again. The new season also features guest star Michael Weston as House's private investigator.

The Simpsons: Sept. 28 - 8 p.m.

Family Guy: Sept. 28 - 9 p.m.

True Blood: Sept. 7 - 9 p.m.
HBO premieres its new series "True Blood" this season, in the hopes of capturing the vampire-obsessed fan base that the "Twilight" series created. The show is based on "The Southern Vampire Mystery" series by Charlaine Harris, which showcases the lives of humans and vampires living together in a small town. After Japanese scientists synthesize blood, the fictional community, Bon Temps, La., has mixed feelings about the inclusion of vampires. Local waitress Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin) can empathize with the vampires, since she has the odd ability to read others' minds. Her life changes for good when she meets a handsome vampire, Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer).

Entourage: Sept. 7 - 10 p.m.

The boys are back in a new season of HBO's "Entourage." After A-list movie star Vincent Chase (Adrien Grenier) stars in a flop, he runs away with childhood friend and life-long mooch Turtle (Jerry Ferrara) to a Mexican paradise. Vince's best friend Eric Murphy (Kevin Connelly) will have to team up with Vince's agent Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven) to rehabilitate the fallen star. Also, expect Vince's brother, Drama (Kevin Dillon), to expand his television career. "Entourage's" fifth season will feature quite a few of the show's customary guest appearances, with big names like T.I., Whoopi Goldberg and Bow Wow. Mark Wahlberg, the model for Vince's character, also makes a guest appearance in the second episode as himself.