Ask Chips number five: it's back and it's prime

Answers compiled by Allison Elvove and Katherine Zhang

Johnny D. asks: If SCO were a Disney princess, which would it be?

Exotic, beautiful, and unique, sans damsel-in-distress issues.  She's a soldier, she can fight like a man, and she has a dragon sidekick named Mushu  (Remember, he's not a lizard; he's a dragon. Draaagonn).  There's no question about it - it's gotta be Mulan.

Little Boy Blue asks: Did Little Bo Peep lose all her sheep because she ate them all?  Or did they escape to some third-world country?

Neither, actually.  According to our latest updates, Little Bo Peep's sheep were last seen in England.  Unfortunately, all but one wandered off into the English moors and were never seen nor heard from again.  The one that remained was cloned.  That's where they got Dolly.

Tim asks: Why can't I get a girlfriend?

Here on Silver Chips Online, we do not pretend to be professional psychologists, but even so, we would like to give you our own personal insight into the issue at hand. After a long discussion over coffee and Hamantaschen, the editors have come to agreement that somewhere out there, beneath the pale moonlight, someone's thinking of you. You just haven't met her yet.   Oh, and before we depart, fear not, we have advice for your young heart.  The problem lies more internally than externally.  Just open up.  Do not look for love.  In time, love will find you. Patience is a virtue, after all.  Hey, maybe you could join a club that relates to your interests and then stumble upon a lady friend that shares the same hobbies.  You never know…Chin up.

SENI0R5 asks: Why is the Class of 2005 so AWESOME? holla front.

There's nothing else to say.  You said it right.  But I mean, what the heck.  It couldn't hurt to reiterate a point…Cuz we are?  Like OMG!  Like totally.  Duh squared.

asldkfj asks: what is the meaning of life?

When we know that, we'll be famous.  But if you want a sappy answer: The meaning of life is exemplified by every different patterned snowflake and is evident in every tiny rock that makes up the large boulders of our daily chores. All around us is beauty.  But until we pause for a moment to reflect on why we wake up each morning, until we feel happy when we wake up in the morning, until then, we will never truly know the meaning of life.

stud(ent) asks: how can a new counselor write his or her students college recs if he or she hasn't even gotten an opportunity to meet them?

Indeed, this is one of the problems of being in a big school. However, it is up to you to fill out your TrailBlazer packet and to make an effort to meet with and get to know your counselor.

A Dumb Question asks: Could you please put this up as a dumb question? thanks

Well, we had to do it, didn't we?  I mean, gotta please our readers now.

just a guitar asks: If Chips were a song, what would it be?  Also, if Chips were an instrument, what would it be?

We would undeniably have to be American Pie and a violin.  For obvious reasons.

Quarter Mex w/ Cheese asks: If the Pillsbury Doughboy was baked into a cookie, what kind of cookie would he be?

Chips would first like to comment on how freaky this question sounds.  That aside, the Pillsbury Doughboy would have to be a soft white chocolate chip cookie with powdered sugar on top that goes Hehee! when you poke it.  Also for obvious reasons.

A Secret Admirer asks: Why is Silver Chips so awesome?

Well, I can tell you why Silver Chips Online is so awesome. Exhibit A) We answer your immediate, pressing questions and put our readers above everything else…even before watching Dawson's Creek. *sigh*  Exhibit B) We don't force ourselves on our readers.  We don't seek you out.  It's up to you to read us.  It's up to us to keep you entertained.  And finally, because who else has such an awesome name with such an awesome staff.  I mean Silver Chips Online?  Come on. You can't beat it.

i love vivek and jeff and allison and katherine asks: What if I tattoo Ask Chips on my butt? Then can I get on Ask Chips??????????

Awwww.  We love you too "i love vivek and jeff and Allison and Katherine."  Except, Ely doesn't love you so much. But hey, see, you don't even need to get a tattoo of Ask Chips to be on it.  We're just that nice.  However, we'd love you even more if you did.  Well, all of us that is except poor forgotten Ely, who is still crying alone in a corner.

Clay Aiken asks: Why can't people keep their horrible singing to themselves

Sometimes, people just wanna let it all out whether they are in the car, in the shower, in the halls of Montgomery Blair.  It's a form of expression.  Certainly you, Mr. Aiken, should appreciate that.