Getting the goods on vending machine foods


Jan. 15, 2003, midnight | By Terry Li | 21 years, 3 months ago


When Blazers face the prospect of sitting through class on an empty stomach, there's only one place to turn: the vending machines. These modern marvels of gluttony dispense all the energy needed for the day, or at least all the fat and sugar one can consume without keeling over. However, not all calorie-packed snacks are created equal. One Chips reporter braved the long lines, and here's how some items stacked up.

Famous Amos Chocolate Chip Cookies

Whatever this Amos guy is famous for, it had better not be his dry, bland chocolate chip cookies. Everything about the packaging suggests old-fashioned homemade treats, but everything inside tastes mass produced and industrialized. Maybe with some milk and extra chocolate these cookies would taste half-decent, but that's like saying Al Gore would have done better in the election if only he were a little more charming and had gotten more votes.

Verdict: Famous Amos cookies crunch like dog biscuits, and they taste about as good.

Cookie Mates Duplex Cremes

The Cookie Mates Duplex Cremes are a little less known than the rest of the snacks, but they shouldn't be overlooked, even with those ugly cartoon sailors on the front.
Goofy packaging aside, with 16 creamy and crunchy Oreo-like cookies for just 80 cents, this snack is definitely for the penny pinchers. Unfortunately, so many cookies also means more calories––600 to be exact. Also, the vanilla flavor tends to make you a little queasy after a while. But regurgitation is a small price to pay to save a quarter!

Verdict: Cookie Mates Duplex Cremes are the best value if you don't mind getting sick after eating all 16.

Kit Kat Big Kat

The new Kit Kat Big Kat is exactly what it sounds like, a gigantic Kit Kat bar. It's made of crispy wafers instead of pounds of vanilla frosting, so it tastes lighter than the Duplex Cremes, even though at 15 grams, it has the most fat of the chocolate bars. The lighter composition also leaves you a little less full. Then again, candy bars aren't meant to be a main course. And although this gigantic bar has concentrated chocolatey goodness, it's probably a marketing nightmare. How are you supposed to "break off a piece" of the Big Kat?

Verdict: The Kit Kat Big Kat isn't very filling but tastes good while it lasts.



Tags: print

Terry Li. Terry Li is a senior in the magnet program who enjoys writing feature articles and reviews. His obsessions are playing videogames, watching TV, and surfing the Internet. He plays tennis and volleyball, and is on Blair's boys volleyball team in the spring. He came to … More »

Show comments


Comments

No comments.


Please ensure that all comments are mature and responsible; they will go through moderation.