From friend to flame

Last year, sophomore Prabhjot Kaur met her best friend. He had been the new student; she and her friends offered to show him the ropes. From there, he and Kaur started going to each other's houses, watching movies, attending parties together, never as romantic dates but always as platonic friends. In the safety and security of their intimate friendship, she can reveal every confidence—except one: She has had a crush on him for two months.

Popularly known as the "friend crush," it is the secret desire to go beyond the borders of a friendship, one familiar to many Blazers, both male and female, besides Kaur.

According to the Science Daily Encyclopedia, a crush is "a short-lived and generally unrequited form of love or infatuation, prevalent among teenagers." The friend crush takes the experience one step further by making the crush's object someone already near and dear to the heart, instead of some anonymous cute boy or girl three seats away in class. While romance may seem a natural step in many close boy-girl friendships, its introduction can lead to awkwardness and alienation, destroying a friendship.

Just friends

Teenage-relationship expert Julie Taylor, a writer for teen magazines such as YM, Cosmo Girl, Jump and Teen, claims in The Girl's Guide to Guys that friend crushes can rarely be helped because they happen so suddenly. "They creep up on you like something out of The Blair Witch Project. You've never liked him like that before and then—boom—you don't know what hit you," writes Taylor. "It's as if before this moment you had blinders on, and now you can see for the first time just how perfect he really is."

The possibility of throwing away a friendship pitted against the possibility of finding a soulmate is what makes the friend crush all the more difficult. Senior Richard Huezo met a girl at the beginning of last year through her sister, but, by the end of junior year, he fell head over heels for her. However, he has tried but been unable to reveal his secret crush. "I was planning on [telling her] after I graduate. Maybe later on I can meet her again and start talking to her differently," Huezo theorizes, a bashful smile creeping on his face as he speaks.

Crushing friendships

Sophomore Rickea Quarles started liking a close male friend shortly after the two met last year. As her friends eagerly chime in with comments, she describes why she was too scared to personally tell him. "If you start telling him and he doesn't like you, you can ruin the friendship," explains Quarles.

Quarles' fears were not unfounded. Taylor warns her readers of the consequences of a friend crush. "The tricky thing about having a crush on a friend is that you could jeopardize the friendship by coming clean with your feelings," cautions Taylor. "Suddenly, the relationship isn't the same. So you've not only lost your crush, you've lost a good friend."

Indeed, friendships take on a different tone after an admission of attraction. Sophomore Kat Comisiak's crush, a friend since eighth grade, transferred to boarding school before their friendship could fully recover from her disclosure last year. Before revealing her crush, Comisiak admits, "I felt like I was going to die whenever I saw him." She finally "told him straight out." However, while he preferred that they be friends until he left for school, their friendship became awkward and lost its old intimacy.

Senior Brandon Battle's friend crush happened to a girl he met last spring near Rockville High School. They talked in person frequently and on the phone for hours after he asked for her number. However, when Battle told her how he felt, she turned him down. "She doesn't want to be my girlfriend — she just wants to be friends," Battle says, annoyed, as he tries to get over her. "She is just using me."

Friends forever

According to junior Stephanie Eloi, revealing a friend crush may be hard but is not necessarily damaging to a friendship. "I think it's better to have a crush on your friend because you know them better," says Eloi. Although she never personally admitted her crush to her male friend, she asked her best friend to tell him. He and Eloi are still friends.

Quarles had a similar experience. Although her crush was "kind of shocked" when he found out, he was unfazed by her attraction. They have remained close friends.

Senior Robert Irvin managed to transcend the friendship border successfully. Irvin developed a crush on a girl he had known since eighth grade when they had similar classes. "It was special. I cared about her a great deal. Everybody thought we were going out anyway cause we'd always be together," he remembers fondly. This year, they finally became a couple. Although Irvin deems the crush "fun while it lasted," he feels that moving forward was the right decision. "This is the way it's supposed to be," he declares.

Feeling more than friendly

It helps to be sure about a friend crush before making any moves. "Once you're really sure you like him, you owe it to yourself to tell him because you could be missing out on the best thing ever if you don't take a chance," Taylor encourages. She recommends waiting a month before taking any action on a friend crush.

Despite the possibility of losing a close friend to awkward hesitation, there is always a chance. Kaur got her guy. They've been together for eight months after he asked her to be his girlfriend.