"Traveling Pants": A felony of a feel-good

The fact that "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" is not released until December does not mean that moviegoers will be missing their share of magic this season. A menagerie of oddities is already swamping the cinemas as new summer releases rush into theaters. We do not just have a lion, we are getting an entire talking zoo from "Madagascar" and a species-confused flying man-rodent from "Batman Begins." We get a "Bewitched" Nicole Kidman and many, many explosives-armory-disguised-as-closets in "Mr. and Mrs. Smith." Really, this summer's medley of movies proves that the good old days when lions, bears and tigers were still worthy of an "O, My!" are indeed long, long gone.

The most jaw-dropping addition to this summer's laundry-list of enchantments is not a flying broom, or a gang of shady penguins or even Angelina Jolie's knock-out little black dress. It is, well, a pair of jeans from "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants," a movie based on Ann Brashares' best-selling novel that is intended to be frivolous and girly fun like the book, but somehow ended up as plain pointless.You might not think much of a pair of regular-looking pants from a thrift store, but you will be reeling in shock when you realize that this item of clothing has so much magic that it can—get this—fit on four different teenage girls. Like seriously, oh, my god!

Actually, "oh, my god!" really should have replaced "Laugh. Cry. Share the Pants" as the movie's official tagline because it seemed to be the characters' favorite expression other than their spasmodic shrill squeals. The film's four main characters are, after all, painfully over-excitable best friends who are both thrilled and scared to be heading on their first summer adventures apart from each other.

There is no denying that the cast of young actresses is easy on the eyes. "Gilmore Girls" star Alexis Bledel plays Lena, a shy artist who finds love in Greece while visiting her grandparents, is as pretty as a porcelain doll. Spirited and sparkling America Ferrera from "Real Women Have Curves" is Carmen, the half-Hispanic fireball who is eager to finally reconnect with her father but clashes with his new family.

Amber Tamblyn ("Joan of Arcadia") has a quirky attractiveness that is accentuated by the blue-tinted hair and spunky outfits she wears as rebellious Tibby, the only friend who summers in the girls' hometown and whose unexpected encounter with mortality rescues her from sarcasm and self-pity. And let's not forget Blake Lively, who wasted all her inviting loveliness only to make the brave and reckless Bridget's struggles at a soccer camp in Mexico seem inexcusably stupid (even when you are trying to portray a free spirit, biking with your arms above your head while heading straight for a moving vehicle is still not the most brilliant thing to do).

With good on-screen chemistry, this assemblage of girls would have actually been pleasant in their roles if only they knew how to act. Or if they actually looked young enough to be high school underclassmen. In the "Traveling Pants" book, the believable and lovable characters pull the fragmented and mediocre plot together. But the unconvincing character development and the bad acting tear the movie to shreds so that "Pants" becomes something of WB teen drama caliber.

Instead of conveying Lena's wavering self-assurance, Bledel just whines and frowns throughout the film, even when Lena is kissing her Greek boyfriend, leaving us to wonder if she ate something sour. Ferrera's Carmen also seems to complain endlessly, although she is the most animated of the bunch and her petty arguments with her step-family seem slightly better than soap opera performances. While Tamblyn is a daring actress, the way her character transmogrifies from a moping terror to Mother Teresa in a matter of two or three scenes is truly and utterly unrealistic. And you cannot really blame Lively for making Bridget sound so unnaturally high in "Pants." It is perfectly understandable that Lively would want to show off her very pretty smile more often than she needed to.

While "Pants" might not be the most worthwhile movie out there, it is definitely a film that parents will feel comfortable bringing kids to. Even though the movie does not do justice to the book, it is a "clean" type of film that teaches clichéd lessons about friendship, that barely broaches the issue of sex and steers totally clear of blood, gore and drugs. Considering this generation's obsession with violence and sexuality, "Pants" is almost a refreshing change from the many better yet less children-appropriate movies out there. Not to mention, "Pants" is very useful for younger siblings who can now exact their long-awaited revenge by forcing older brothers and sisters to sit through 113 minutes of unadulterated torture.

"The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" (113 minutes) is rated PG for thematic elements, some sensuality and language.