The power of one: Secret Santa


Dec. 25, 2004, midnight | By Erik Li | 19 years, 11 months ago

The eeny, meeny, miny, moe approach to gift-giving


One gift. One lonely, little gift. Just one.
Sweet.

As buying gifts for teenagers has become increasingly expensive, the hassles of traditional gift-giving have given way to the ease of one-gift Secret Santas. Usually involving groups of six to 20 friends, Secret Santas allow people to give fewer gifts and avoid worrying about whether everyone received one. This practice has become extremely common, with about 65 of every 100 Blazers participating in a Secret Santa at some point, according to an informal poll.

In this rising phenomena, groups of friends or acquaintances gather to randomly and secretly select who gets to get whom a gift. "It's just a matter of putting the names in a hat or something and picking them out,” says senior Vicky Dean, describing how people become Secret Santas and receive the name of their gift recipients, hereafter called giftees.

For many Blazers, this arrangement frees them from gift-related troubles, especially in large groups of friends. "Everyone gets a gift no matter what, and no one gets left out,” says senior Sabrina Shapiro. "You don't feel guilty if you don't give a gift to someone who gave one to you.”

First-time Secret Santa freshman Lisa Whittington agrees. "You just buy a gift for one friend instead of all your friends,” she says.

In addition, Secret Santa is easier on Blazers' budgets. Secret Santas only need to get gifts for one person and they usually have a generally accepted, if occasionally unspoken, price cap. "No one ever told me [we had a price cap], but I assumed that it was somewhere between $5 and $15,” says Whittington.

A Christmas lottery

Groups select their Secret Santa giftees at varying times before Christmas, but most begin about two weeks shy of that special Dec. 25. Whittington says her band of friends started this year's Secret Santa about three weeks before Christmas.

The same goes for Shapiro, who engages in Secret Santas with two groups: her friends and her fellow ballet dancers. They generally begin two to four weeks before Christmas, but she insists that they "give gifts as late as possible because I procrastinate.” She continues, smiling, "We give the gifts shortly before Christmas or sometimes on Christmas.”

Dean says that the girls basketball team, which she is a part of, "is doing [Secret Santa] as late as possible.” Their game and practice schedule prevents them from having much free time to purchase gifts, so they didn't select Secret Santas until Wednesday, Dec. 22, three days before Christmas and five days before a tournament, when they will exchange gifts. "We're busy with games, but there's no practice tomorrow, so we figured that instead of practice, [team members] could go shopping and get their presents,” she explained.

Pass the wrapping paper

Secret Santas have to learn about their giftees before they can get them a satisfying gift. After all, Whittington says, "I've never done a Secret Santa before and wanted to try it. I'm excited to see what they'll say.”

Some Secret Santas use wish lists to guide gift-givers on their purchases. The basketball team plans to do something similar, according to Dean. "Everyone on the team is going to write suggestions on the board for what to get them.”

Part of the fun is learning new things about people. "It's harder if you pick someone who you don't know as well,” says Whittington. "You need to ask someone else, like their friend. Someone you trust. You can even ask [the giftee] what they want, but you can't be obvious about it.”

Of course, there is always another tried and true method of dealing with someone you don't know. "You could just switch,” says Whittington, laughing.

Typical gifts vary depending on the group. Shapiro says she gets her friends "little things: lotions, soaps, candles and stuff like that.” Gifts are also influenced by group activities. For the Secret Santa that she is participating in with her ballet buddies, Shapiro "got this hand lotion called 'Miso Pretty' and decorated it with flowers and pretty wrapping” because the group had just performed the Chinese scene in The Nutcracker.

Dean says that gifts among basketball team members will likely be less decorative than practical. "Different people have different tastes, but gift cards will probably be the most popular gift. Usually, there'll also be some sports stuff or clothes,” she says.

The final phase

In Dean's experience, there are two ways to exchange gifts for Secret Santa. "[For the tournament] everyone will just give the gifts and get it over with,” says Dean. However, when time isn't an issue, she likes a more leisurely method of gift-giving. "One person starts it off and gives her gift, and then that person gives her gift, and that person gives her gift and it just keeps on going,” she says.

The keen will have noticed that the Santas reveal themselves. The term Secret Santa is something of a misnomer because Secret Santas generally expose their identities upon exchanging gifts. "Finding out who had you is the best part,” says Dean.

In some groups, members exchange little gifts before the final, large gift where they reveal themselves. "We exchange gifts over a week or two, and some people leave clues with the little gifts like 'I have brown hair' or something,” says Shapiro. "Sometimes, [the giftees] will guess their Santa beforehand.”

Dean says that when she does Secret Santa with her friends or family, they do something similar. "We play a game called 'White Elephant.' Everyone gets one really small gift, like a bag of Twizzlers,” she says. They then put their wrapped gifts in one place, and everyone picks a number. "The first person picks a gift, and then the next person can pick a new gift from the pile or steal any gift already picked.”

Dean describes the thrill of having a Secret Santa. "It's a lot more fun to get something for someone and not know who you're getting something from,” she says. In the end, it's just one more way to enjoy the holidays.



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Erik Li. <p>Erik Li was born on Jan. 10, 1988, and spent the first half-year of his life in the USA before moving to Germany for the next two years of his life. Interestingly enough, he remembers none of this (he was much too young – i.e. … More »

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