snoWatch: Three feet of snow is on its way

We're back. Well, technically we've been here since August, but we've been biding our time, waiting for the right moment to debut SnoWatch 2012.

First, we were holding out for a magnificent blizzard (reality shot this dream down real fast). Then, our first six inches. Then four. Now, after weeks and weeks of unseasonably warm weather, we're happy to announce that our buds over at Capital Weather Gang have confirmed that up to a full inch or maybe even two inches of snow is possible tonight.

Two whole inches! Yes, the Snow Gods are finally smiling upon us. At last it's starting to feel like a D.C. winter: the slight possibility of snow bringing chaos, hopes of school delays and gridlock. Any precipitation in the District equals chaos. And as MoCo students, we love chaos.

Right now, Montgomery County is under a winter weather advisory. If you are looking out a window, you may be wondering, "...why?" Well, snow skeptics, flurries are dutifully on their way. For those of you who can't wait for these magical specks to fall from the sky, try some of our own tricks to make it snow. They've been tested through an intense scientific process. Of course they'll work.

This winter, global warming has been the talk of the town. January's been more like March and if this continues, we'll be burning up in the summer heat by April. Sandals and shorts have become the impromptu Blazer uniform as our winter jackets hibernate in our closets. If it weren't for fashion, scarves would be completely obsolete. This may be one of the first times that new spring line debuts are actually appropriate.

While we twiddle our thumbs and wait for it to actually start snowing, here are some useless predictions that are backed up by various, credible weather sources – and a few not so legitimate ones (i.e. Molly's iPhone).

Chance of two-hour delay: 15 percent
We're being very, very generous with this prediction in hopes that our friends up in Poolesville get slammed by this treacherous storm. Snowfall totals are supposed to increase as you go north and west of the Metro area, so all sarcasm aside, there is hope. Our arch enemies in Fauquier County didn't even go to school today. It hasn't even snowed yet. Clearly those administrators know what's up. We may not have much hope, but we have hope nonetheless. Here's to that 15 percent.

Chance of a school cancelation: 0.00001 percent
Oh, dear clouds, be kind. In the event that nature freaks out and the water cycle goes into overdrive, school may be closed tomorrow. However, it's important to note that we have a new Superintendent this year, and he's from Connecticut. Stamford, Connecticut. Where the average snowfall amount in February alone is 9.1 inches. This entire winter, we've gotten almost nothing. Basically, this is a death sentence to any chance of having a snow day. Farewell sweet day off, with your frolicking, mugs of hot chocolate and naps, we never even got to know you.

Update: 10:39 p.m. - Clearly Mother Nature didn't get the memo... oh well.