Peculiar scholarships for peculiar people

Not everyone can win merit scholarships, and certainly not everyone can pay full college tuition. So what is an average but splendidly unique senior to do when lumbering about in the horridly befuddling Land of Financial Aid? Play to your strengths, of course, no matter how bizarre they might be.

For those who are vertically endowed:
Ladies over 5'10” and gentlemen over 6'2”, all the years of bumping your heads on ceilings and towering over your love interests can finally pay off. After the first of January, you can apply to TCI's scholarship for tall students and earn up to $1000 towards your first year of college.

For those who are vertically challenged:
The Billy Barty Foundation: (818) 953-5410
For those of you who have never been allowed to ride roller coasters, the college financial-aid process bears you good tidings. If you are under the height of 4'10” and have valid medical proof of a form of dwarfism, the Billy Barty Foundation may offer you a scholarship.

Do a good impression of the AFLAC duck?
For college cash, you can enter the Chick and Sophie Major Memorial Duck Calling Contest in Stuttgart, Arkansas. Take note, however, that duck-calling is not yelling "Hey ducky!” and hoping a duck will approach you. You have to demonstrate actual skill in the hail, feed, comeback and mating calls. A first-place winner wins $1,500, the first runner-up takes away $500, the second runner-up wins $300 and the third runner-up earns $200.

Speak Klingon?
Professional nerds at the Klingon Language Institute would like to fund the education of aspiring collegiate nerds who are familiar with Klingon, the language of Chewbacca and friends. The Kor Memorial Scholarship can be applied for if a full-time student is pursuing a language degree in a post-secondary educational institution.

Calling all Zolps!
If you are a Catholic student admitted to Loyola University in Chicago by April 1 and have the surname of "Zolp” on a valid birth certificate, you're in luck: You won't have to pay a dime for all four years of your college education. That's something to stick in the faces of all those mean kids who have made fun of you since elementary school.

Calling all Gatlin(g)s!
NCSU Department of Scholarships and Financial Aid: (919) 515-2421
If your last name isn't Zolp, you still have a chance to use your last name for money, but only if it's Gatling or Gatlin. Having either of those last names would make you eligible for the John Gatling Scholarship, which constitutes a fully paid-for education at North Carolina State University. Although the scholarship is awarded in the memory of the inventor of the Gatling gun, applicants do not have to have experience with firearms to win.

Duct Tape Prom
If getting down to "YMCA” while wearing duck tape sounds like the party of a lifetime, entering into the Duck Tape Club's Stuck at Prom scholarship competition is a great way to earn yourself up to $2,500 towards your college education. Couples who create their prom outfits entirely out of duct tape can enter photos in the Stuck at Prom contest. Specific entry categories are Traditional Prom attire, Theme/Costume Attire, and Just Plain Silver Attire.

The moral of the story is that no person, however weird, is excluded from the scholarship pool. There are numerous other scholarships, including those for left-handed students and for other last names (believe it or not) and things of that nature. And, of course, there are your run-of-the-mill scholarships that any sort of Joe/Josephine College can win if he/she desires.