Off the air…onto DVD

It's that time of the week again. Curled up on the couch, basking in the television's glow, you're ready for the one thing that makes your week worth slogging through: your favorite television program.

But then you realize that your show isn't on this week! It's on hiatus! You've been building yourself up all week for nothing! You may as well climb the long, dark stairs to your room and collapse on the floor in a quivering mass of pure, boneless misery.

Don't do that. Please.

Instead of crawling into bed and sobbing for hours, consider checking out one of these retired TV shows. They're all off the air, never to light up the small screen again (except for the reruns, of course), so you'll never have to wait another week to see the next episode because they're all available due to the magic of the DVD. So if you're impatiently awaiting your program's return or just looking for something "new" to watch, pop in one of these oldies and enjoy!

"21 Jump Street"

Sure, you could watch "21 Jump Street" for the pure entertainment value of an overdone '80s cop show, but this particular cop show has an added bonus: young Johnny Depp. Yes, before the scissorhands, the eyeliner and a disturbing turn as Willy Wonka - not to mention all that rum - Johnny Depp and his cheekbones played a young, clean-cut cop.

The premise of the show is ridiculous enough: Police officers in the Jump Street program are sent into high schools disguised as students in order to solve cases and catch juvenile criminals - crack dealers, teenage prostitutes, etc. With bad '80s hair, junior Johnny Depp and a totally ludicrous premise, what could be better?

Rerun Recap

Name: "21 Jump Street"

Why cancelled: Johnny Depp left…and then so did almost every single other actor on the show. And what good is a cop show without the unrealistically beautiful cops?

Why you should watch it again: Seriously, read the article.

Best moment: Johnny Depp bowling a strike and yelling, "Another slamerino!" Add it to your list of things to see before you die.

"Blackadder"

Before Americans spawned the shameless circus of network TV, some of the best shows migrated from across the pond. "Blackadder," a time-traveling British '80s show, stars Rowan Atkinson (also known as "Mr. Bean" or "that narcoleptic guy from "Rat Race") as the scheming Edmund Blackadder. The show chronicles the lives and times of the Edmund Blackadders throughout British history, from the Dark Ages to World War I. But even as the show hop-scotches between centuries, Blackadder's personality never changes - he remains the same slimy, despicable man.

This show was also one of the first where the viewers actually rooted for the vile main character, setting a precedent for shows like "House." Coincidentally, Hugh Laurie, the actor who plays the nasty, misanthropic title character on "House," also played an idiotic British fop on "Blackadder" - about as far from Dr. House as he could possibly get.

Why is this show so fantastically entertaining? Because a hallmark of humanity is that people always find it utterly hilarious to see someone be bitingly caustic towards someone stupid, and that wonderful horribleness is what "Blackadder" is all about.

Rerun Recap

Name: "Blackadder"

Why cancelled: There's only so far you can take a time-traveling jerk and his idiot servant.

Why you should watch it again: "House" fan? "Rat Race" fan? Like "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" or appreciate British humor (or humour) in the slightest?

Best moment: "I've got a plan as cunning as a fox that has just been made Professor of Cunning at Oxford University."

"Mystery Science Theater 3000"

Take one ordinary man catapulted into space by a mad scientist. Give him a couple of wisecracking robot pals and force them to watch horrible, horrible sci-fi movies. Let the good times roll!

That right there is the formula for "Mystery Science Theater 3000," or as it is known to fans, MST3K.

Possibly one of the most innovative concepts for a TV show ever, MST3K simply televises the kind of nutty commentary that you mutter to yourself while watching a horrible movie. Only the comments made by Joel and his robots aren't lame like yours - they have the unique ability to send viewers doubling over with laughter, immortalizing the show as cult favorite from 1988 all the way to 1999. There has never been anything like MST3K - and there probably will never be again.

Rerun Recap

Name: "Mystery Science Theater 3000"

Why cancelled: As hilarious as it may be, any show gets old after 11 years on the air.

Why you should watch it again: The show is twice the fun of any other - you get the hilariously bad movies and the funny commentary all on the same program.

Best moment: "It's Julie Andrews! And she's on fire!"

"The X-Files"

If ever a television show captivated a generation, "The X-Files" was it. This '90s program was filled with conspiracy and romance and mystery and oh-my-God-did-that-guy-just-suck-the-fat-off-that-lady's-bones?

Yes. Yes, he did.

"The X-Files" was the television show that set the bar for paranormal programs for years to come. "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," "Ghost Whisperer" and "Medium" wouldn't be the campy television masterpieces that they are today without Special Agents Fox Mulder (David Duchovny) and Dana Scully (Gillian Anderson) leading the way, with their constant battle to find the Truth (which is out there) and expose government conspiracies, all the while confronting weird monsters and their repressed sexual attraction for each other. This show was ratings dynamite in its day, and it's still just as good. Though Mulder and Scully's quest was cruelly cut short in 2002, thanks to the magic of the DVD they may continue to shine those spooky flashlights for years to come.

Rerun Recap

Name: "The X-Files"

Why cancelled: Mulder got abducted, Scully got knocked up, and their two replacements, Agents Doggett and Reyes, were nothing like our favorite power pair.

Why you should watch it again: It's really not that often when a TV show has the power to severely creep you out. There are legions of people out there who can never look at liver the same way again.

Best moment: Remember that episode where Mulder saved Scully's life and then there was sexual tension? What do you mean, which one?