NFL Week Twelve predictions

Happy Thanksgiving to all of our loyal readers out there, and be sure to plop down in front of the tube for some post-stuffing NFL football.

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Thursday, November 23, 2006

Miami Dolphins (4-6) at Detroit Lions (2-8)

Josh says: Miami is hot. Latin honeys and Joey Harrington at quarterback make for the hottest team in the league. P.S. I hope the Detroit fans give it to Joey in his return to Detroit.

Abe says: Miami's Jason Taylor tied an NFL record with his seventh career touchdown last week as a defensive end. That's just plain baller. Holler.

Pia says: Former Lions QB Joey Harrington returns to Detroit this Thanksgiving with plenty to be thankful for. He has brought the formerly ailing Miami team to three straight victories, including a highly improbable one against Chicago, and isn't going to be slowed down by his struggling ex-team.

Phil says: The Lions snapped Arizona's 8 game losing streak. Enough said.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-7) at Dallas Cowboys (6-4)

Josh says: Dallas is a 10.5 favorite, but Tampa Bay isn't really that bad. Still, the lethal and most unlikely combo of Romo and Owens should torch the Bucs' D.

Abe says: Is it my imagination or did Tony Romo just become Joe Montana?

Pia says: After last week's upset win against previously undefeated Indianapolis, Tony Romo is looking like Superman.

Phil says: If you beat the Redskins you have an embarrassing loss the next week: It's my new rule.

Denver Broncos (7-3) at Kansas City Chiefs (6-4)

Josh says: I picked Denver last week against San Diego and they screwed me. They better not screw me this week or else next week I will call Jake "I should have been a" Plummer nasty names.

Abe says: Normally I never go against the Chiefs at home when it's cold, but with their quarterback spot still in jeopardy and Denver coming off a disheartening prime time loss, I gotta go with the Broncs. Plus, the Real World Denver started this week, and I'm feeling the MTV karma.

Pia says: Denver has another crucial AFC West match-up against KC, a week after yielding lead of the division to San Diego. This week however, Denver will get the win they need to keep them in a solo (and they hope, temporary) second place.

Phil says: On the third and final turkey day game (shown only on the NFL network grrrrrr) the broncos roll into KC reeling from last weeks loss to San Diego. Still, I have to side on such a special day with the team more apt at stuffing the run and whose quarterback can carve defenses like a turkey. Mike Bell will break loose to pour on the gravy.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Arizona Cardinals (2-8) at Minnesota Vikings (4-6)

Josh says: I don't know any players on The Vikings' team. I actually don't know why I picked them. I was alone in picking Arizona to win last week, and we all know them winning two games in a row is about as likely as Pia ever picking a game wrong: it just doesn't happen.

Abe says: I would rather correct Phil's English homework than watch this game, and trust me, that ain't no fun.

Pia says: Too bad Arizona snapped their eight-game losing streak last week just to lose again this week.

Phil says: Ok I have learned a lesson following last week's dismal performance when I decided to pick with my gut. Yeah, big mistake. This week in games such as these I'm going with a more solid and proven technique…ask the most football-clueless girl in the vicinity, obviously not Pia.

Carolina Panthers (6-4) at Washington Redskins (3-7)

Josh says: I am a tormented Redskins fan. Just give me a good draft pick and lets move on to next year. Oh yea, Jason Campbell is The Truth (with capital T's).

Abe says: Steve Smith for MVP of the World.

Pia says: Jason Campbell is showing hope, now for the rest of the team! Come on Redskins…

Phil says: Ok Campbell is sweet but that's about it. And with Pia pulling away this isn't time for loyalty.

Cincinnati Bengals (5-5) at Cleveland Browns (3-7)

Josh says: The Bengals hung 21 fourth quarter points on the Saints last week. Chad "My Mohawk may be gone but my Mojo isn't" Johnson is getting the ball more and the Bengals are winning. Coincidence, I think not!

Abe says: Chad Johnson put together two games with stats that wuld make some players' seasons—more than 400 yards receiving and six touchdowns. You think Ocho Cinco celebrates Thanksgiving?

Pia says: Ever since their rather public team spat a few weeks ago, QB Carson Palmer and WR Chad Johnson, along with the rest of the Bengals team seem to be doing great. Their in-state rival Cleveland isn't going to stop them.

Phil says: Cleveland is really one of the leagues most frustrating teams. They lost last week after completely blanking the Steelers for the first half an hour only to fall apart in the last ten minutes and then drop a hail marry in the end zone. Long story short Cincinnati is going to win even if its fluke.

Houston Texans (3-7) at New York Jets (5-5)

Josh says: Would anyone believe me if I told them I picked Houston two weeks in a row? I might shoot myself for being so stupid if I made it three. It was the first line in my contract when I took this job: "The picker is not allowed to pick the lowly, horrible, barely collegiate-level Houston Texans more than two weeks in a row under any circumstances."

Abe says: Apparently the only team the Texans can beat is the Jaguars. The Jets are not the Jaguars. Duh.

Pia says: The Jets in the playoffs? Well if they play well and the Patriots keep doing worse…nah. But they're still better than the Texans.

Phil says: J E T S! Jets Jets Jets! You're right, I have nothing else to say.

Jacksonville Jaguars (6-4) at Buffalo Bills (4-6)

Josh says: I hate both teams. I really just want to see Abe's Super Bowl pick fail while mine (the Colts) succeeds.

Abe says: Lee Evans is a monster. When I saw he had two 83-yard TD receptions, I thought it was a mistake. It wasn't. Unfortunately for Evans, the Bills are still dreadful.

Pia says: Which Jacksonville will show up this time: the team that beat the Giants and Cowboys, or the team that lost to Houston—twice?

Phil says: I'm actually not that confident with this pick. The Jags get up for big games and flop in the gimmes. Still Garrard is a beast!

New Orleans Saints (6-4) at Atlanta Falcons (5-5)

Josh says: In the last Southern smokin' matchup between these two teams Reggie Bush acted like the Katrina savior he is by returning a punt for the game-winning touchdown. Some call it skill, I call it home-field advantage.

Abe says: A-town ain't goin' down!

Pia says: Another 510-yard game? Probably not. A win this time for New Orleans? Probably.

Phil says: Reggie Bush had his first NFL touchdown and really worthwhile highlight last time these two faced off. Look for another big game by him and a repeated win.

Pittsburgh Steelers (4-6) at Baltimore Ravens (8-2)

Josh says: Although the Ravens have plenty of purple in their jerseys, they are far from feminine. Any team with Ray Lewis is menacing enough to strike fear in their opponents. Sometimes I'm scared just watching him come out of the tunnel and do that tip toe the rip out the heart dance that he does when he's introduced.

Abe says: Jamal Lewis is approaching Jerome Bettis-like stats. I'm just waiting for him to have a game with ten carries, four yards and multiple TDs. Yeah, that would be tight.

Pia says: With a four game win-discrepancy between these two teams, this AFC North rivalry just isn't the same.

Phil says: B-more at home will trample the questionable Steelers defense.

San Francisco 49ers (5-5) at St. Louis Rams (4-6)

Josh says: Shutout last week by Carolina, the Rams rebound. Steven Jackson rushes for 300 yards and I win my fantasy matchup.

Abe says: San Fran is the better team record-wise, yet we all refuse to pick them…ever. I guess that's what a reputation will do to you.

Pia says: These two teams truly show that the season ain't over till it's over. Whereas St. Louis started 4-1 and has now lost five straight, San Fran started 2-5 and has now won three straight. The 49ers, after beating last year's NFC Champions last week can now make a stretch for the playoffs that few predicted.

Phil says: Dude the 49ers are .500 when did that happen.

Oakland Raiders (2-8) at San Diego Chargers (8-2)

Josh says: On the sixth day god created football. He thought about resting on the seventh day but decided to create the best football player ever: LaDainian Tomlinson.

Abe says: Is this a joke?

Pia says: This week's AFC West rival should be a bit easier for the Chargers.

Phil says: This is like a one on one basketball game between Josh and I. It should be quick painless and even a little bit funny. Wow he's terrible.

Chicago Bears (9-1) at New England Patriots (7-3)

Josh says: It's just a hunch, we all know it could go either way. But seriously the Bears have no chance against Tom Brady.

Abe says: Lord Football blesses us with this great matchup this weekend. Unfortunately, unless you have DirecTV, you likely won't get to see it live. But I can tell you right now it will be a gritty, low-scoring game. I'm thinking 10-7 Bears, and my boy Devin Hester somehow manages to score the crucial TD.

Pia says: The Patriots' uniforms are, like, so much less attractive than the Bears' uniforms. Plus, Brian Urlacher is sooo hot. Just kidding. But seriously, New England's overrated.

Phil says: Tom Brady and crew show why they still are contenders kind of like me with these great picks.

New York Giants (6-4) at Tennessee Titans (3-7)

Josh says: Tennessee is the surprise team of the league with Vince Young leading the way. I have him in all of my Madden franchises and he is sick. Unfortunately Eli Manning is rated as an 88 while Vince Young starts as an 82. My gut says Vinny but my head says Eli.

Abe says: Listening to Josh babble about Madden ratings is nice, but what he forgot to tell you was that I fry him daily on the Xbox. I'm in the midst of a six-game winning streak in our multiplayer franchise. See me in Madden.

Pia says: The Giants will look to come out of their two game slump against the slumping Titans.

Phil says: New York's motto is "Ballin'." How can you argue with that?

Philadelphia Eagles (5-5) at Indianapolis Colts (9-1)

Josh says: Even though they lost, I feel confident in saying Indy will make the playoffs and make a run at the Super Bowl. I will still pick them every week too. Phil is a tool.

Abe says: LT is having a great season, but I'd like to take this opportunity to promote Peyton Manning as the league's Most Valuable Player. Think about it, without Manning the Colts would be a .500 team at best. With no running game and Jim Sorgi at the helm, Indy would never even make the playoffs. LT on the other hand has a solid quarterback and the best tight end in the game on his team, not to mention a capable backup in Michael Turner. LT is the league's best player, but Peyton is the MVP.

Pia says: Indianapolis made the fall from grace last week, but the Eagles don't have much of a change with QB Donovan McNabb out for the season.

Phil says: No Donovan. No win.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Green Bay Packers (4-6) at Seattle Seahawks (6-4)

Josh says: What a bore of a game. Whoever schedules Monday Night games needs to get off Brett Favre's jock. Go Seahawks go!

Abe says: The quality of the Monday Nighters this year has been extremely weak. Someone in the NFL needs to get on that. Show me what you got, Seahawks, show me what you got, Seattle…

Pia says: Who would have thought that this would have been such a hard pick?

Phil says: With Alexander's health now no longer a question it is time for Seattle to take back the NFC.