Infoflow to go

Infoflow - cornerstone of the Blair community, source of all our daily info needs and eternal wellspring of word-of-the-day quality vocab enhancement - is under attack.

Okay, so "attack" may be a bit strong, but there is, at the very least, some major league harassment going on. In fact, if we can't handle this the civilized way - with a lot of muttered complaints and snarky comments during passing time - we may end up with a full-fledged Infowar on our hands.

The situation: Our beloved Infoflow has not only been moved from the beginning of second block to the end of first block, but its six-minute time limit is actually being enforced. This means no lengthy sports updates in which we find out that we didn't lose last week's game by that much. Instead, we get lengthy sports updates ruthlessly cut off mid-sentence by the bell. This means no sympathy-inspiring packs by GSA or SGR or any of those other three-letter organizations rallying students around a designated cause.

This means war.

The administration, of course, has a rationale: Class time is important; it's pretty much why we're here (right up there with discussing last night's prime time line-up, filling up our social calendars and wondering why everyone else has a better lunch than we do). Last year, whenever Infoflow overshot its six-minute limit, we lost two minute chunks left and right. And we lost even more time when students, armed with the knowledge that the first six minutes of second block were dedicated to Infoflow and only Infoflow, decided that it was okay to hang out in the hall causing shenanigans rather than hurry to class. We can't afford this idleness – we've got learning to do.

Plus, security guards aren't big on shenanigans.

But beneath this rationale there lies a hypocrisy. While the two minute chunks do add up over time, something else adds up even faster: 24-minute chunks, say, every Tuesday between first and second block.

That's right - advisories. While rigidly (read: neurotically) enforcing a six-minute limit on an integral part of Blair life that provides much needed information, fosters school spirit and stimulates our brains with fascinating daily trivia, the administration has seen fit to provide us with 24 minutes a week of designated thumb-twiddling time.

And for that we'd like to thank them. We've been missing our naptime ever since it was heartlessly stolen from us - along with lukewarm apple juice and stale animal crackers - in the first grade. Mrs. Mary just didn't understand, but we can see that you do.

And while we understand that something's got to give to make time for our all-important, weekly game of Go Fish, please, not Infoflow. Anything but Infoflow. Cut 10 minutes off of Physics - algebra, if you must. Just not Infoflow.

But the strict time limit is only grievance number one. The sudden jump of Infoflow from second period to first has seriously disrupted our collective chi, largely due to the new 30-second loudspeaker warning to turn to channel 19, which sounds a whole lot like wind chimes at some creepy old house.

And as if it wasn't bad enough to constantly have teachers yelling last minute homework assignments at us as we flee the room, they now continue their unwanted talk of textbook chapters and journal entries during Infoflow. Maybe students are arriving on time to their second blocks, but what about Infoflow? Doesn't it deserve a little respect?

So, fellow students, the solution: Rise up against this injustice and defend your preferred method of information absorption. Run wild through the halls yelling "SENIORS" in your most obnoxious sing-song voice, overuse the word of the day every day and shout "DID YOU KNOW?" before every sentence until the administration gives us what we want and what Infoflow deserves.

And for the administration, the challenge: Prepare for battle.

If you would like to submit a letter to the editor, please send an e-mail to silver.chips.print@gmail.com. Include your name and comments concerning the story; we'd love to hear from you.