Die Another Day: How about tomorrow?

Let's take a slightly sadistic mind frame for a moment here, and ponder the question of what the easiest way to kill someone would be. Choice A: by allowing a giant ice fortress to slowly melt onto the victim. Choice B: by attacking the victim with a massive mirror reflecting the sun's rays from outer space. Choice C: strapping the victim to a chair and waiting while a sluggish laser slowly makes its way toward the victim's face. Or, maybe, perhaps, we could try Choice D: shooting the victim in the head.

Well, in the newest overdone, overblown, over-the-top, and just plain over James Bond, the final selection is not an option; overly imaginative filmmakers take every possible opportunity to bombard the audience with absolutely ridiculous capture-escape scenes that do nothing to further the plot and everything to further the general aura of idiocy. Yes, the fast cars and gadgets are certainly cool, but, as always, Bond and plot don't mix.

Unfortunately, this time director Lee Tamahori tried way too hard to create a complicated, politically correct storyline, which, when mixed with the inevitable womanizing and ridiculous script lines, merely becomes increasingly preposterous. Commencing with James Bond's (Pierce Brosnan) usual escape from the inescapable, the film subsequently sets up an elaborate situation in which Bond is imprisoned for killing the North Korean leader's son, but really he didn't, or something like that. Who knows, who cares, we're just waiting for the cars and the women!

And soon enough, we get them, but thrown in haphazardly, with even central female heroine Agent Jinx (Halle Berry) appearing random and unnecessary. After James Bond is traded from his Korean prison in exchange for arch-enemy Zao (Rick Yune), Bond is under suspicion for his actions while in prison and for the simple fact that he caused the British to lose a valuable prisoner. Consequently, Bond is held captive by British intelligence, from which he quickly escapes on a quest for revenge on Zao.

Anyway, one thing leads to another, Bond proves himself valuable again, is reinstated by British intelligence, and embarks on a mission not simply to recapture Zao, but to investigate a suspicious diamond miner named Gustav Graves (Toby Stephens).

So where in the basic plot does Agent Jinx fit in? Well, she doesn't, really, except to act as Bond's spunky sidekick. But Berry is necessary in so many other ways; she provides the only true relief from the irritating machismo and raucous explosion scenes recurrent throughout the rest of the film. She is beautiful, powerful, and—shockingly enough for a Bond girl—intelligent.

Of course, the value Jinx's charisma and refreshing honesty bring to Die Another Day are quickly negated by the absurdity of the "evil" female character of the film, the ever-frosty Miranda Frost (Rosamund Pike). Perhaps the most stereotypical ice queen female ever, Frost's character as a British double-agent is underdeveloped and unnecessary, existing for the sole reason that James Bond cannot possibly have sex with just one woman per movie!

That and so many other Bond clichés merely seem outdated now, like the painfully obvious sexual innuendos and the hot new technology we've already seen in five spy movies this year. Brosnan himself is looking more than a little worn around the edges. Perhaps it's time for James Bond to die. And not another day.

DIE ANOTHER DAY (PG-13, 123 minutes) – Contains action violence and sexuality. At area theaters.