Cold Creek Manor is extraordinarily ordinary

Cold Creek Manor is a difficult movie to write about - not because it was terrible, certainly not because it was great. It's just another run of the mill, perfectly average, formulaic murder mystery, with no distinguishing characteristics whatsoever.

This suspense movie revolves around its namesake, a spooky old mansion in the middle of nowhere. The Tillson family decides to buy Cold Creek Manor and refurbish it after their little son is almost hit by a car in New York City. Seeking an escape from the manic city life, Cooper (Dennis Quaid) and Leah Tillson (Sharon Stone) pull up roots and move out to the country.

Once they get to their new home, the Tillsons find hostile locals (who all speak with Southern accents, even though Cold Creek Manor is in upstate New York) and disturbing relics from the family who owned the Manor before them. But they quickly settle into their new home, and everything is going swimmingly – until the home's former owner, Dale Massie, shows up ready for some old fashioned revenge.

As expected, the Tillsons make every stupid choice they possibly can. Cooper hires Dale Massie to fix up the Manor even after he finds a cache of Dale's child pornography, Dale admits he just got out of prison, and he smokes a joint in front of him. On a dark, stormy night when they know Dale is trying to kill them, Cooper and Leah decide to go for a trip to the woods. And when Dale is in the house coming after them, they decide to shout loudly so he knows where they are.

There are two main problems with Cold Creek Manor – its lack of originality and its lack of suspense payoff. Most of the scary situations and plot elements used in Cold Creek Manor have been used a hundred times before, often in better movies. And although the director does an admirable job of creating a suspenseful atmosphere, there's no payoff. Most of the time, nothing happens.

For instance, at one point Leah is pushed by Dale down a giant well with corpses at the bottom (The Ring, anyone?). Cooper has to help her climb out with a rope, knowing full well that Dale could strike at any second. The suspense is palpable. And then she climbs up, and the movie just continues as if this never happened.

On a side note, it does bear mentioning that the soundtrack for Cold Creek Manor has some of the most annoying pieces of ‘music' ever composed for a movie. The only songs are either cloyingly happy and sappy pieces that sound like something from a love movie or incredibly loud and discordant pieces that consist of someone banging all the low notes on a piano simultaneously.

However, I don't want to be too harsh on Cold Creek Manor. Like I said, it wasn't awful. In fact, the movie is pretty entertaining for the most part. It's well shot, with some downright artistic compositions. Far from being un-watchable, this film is simply too formulaic to be anything other than average.

In short, there's nothing great about Cold Creek Manor. The plot is old and worn, the characters aren't developed, and the jumpy scenes are pretty predictable. But most of the movie is mildly enjoyable, so if you have nothing better to do or think it might be a fun movie to watch, you probably won't come out permanently scarred.