God shows Blazers the light

Everyone is always talking about it. Supposedly, guys are always thinking about it. Approximately 47 percent of teens are doing it. It - that loaded three-letter word that is the constant focus of everyone's attention: sex.

But junior Monique Eldridge is different. She hasn't done it and isn't planning to anytime soon. Her decision to remain a virgin until marriage comes not from her parents, counselor or health teacher - it comes straight from God.

In today's culture, where (according to the Center for Media and Popular Policy) teens watch an average of 93 sexual situations in an hour of MTV music videos, it is hardly surprising to find that almost one in two teens has already lost his/her virginity, according to the Center for Disease Control. Yet for some, this will not be the case. These Blazers are straying from the beaten, sex-saturated path, opting instead to stand by their religious values in the face of societal standards, peer pressure and temptation.

"Everybody's doing it"

Eldridge's decision to save herself for marriage is simple - she does so because the Bible says to. But she also sees her choice as her way of being unique. "It's kind of rare to be a virgin. [Sex is] like nothing to them," says Eldridge, a Methodist. "Everybody's doing it."

Junior Synthia Mariadhas, a Seventh-day Adventist, thinks the meanings of love and sex have been lost in the steamy whirl of today's seductive society. The values instilled in Mariadhas as a child at Sabbath school are quite different from those perpetuated by American culture. "Now, [love is] being used for anything, like people say, 'I love this pen,'" she says.

Mariadhas remembers a video shown at Sabbath school in which the different levels of love were explained in terms of fire: A match represented the love for a dog; a stick on fire, the love for a friend; a bigger fire, the love between a husband and wife; and a huge bonfire showed "God's love for us."

"Sex is a combination of all the different kinds of love. It's not just an act because, 'Oh, I'm horny' or whatever," Mariadhas says. "It shows you know what love actually is."

According to a 2003 National Institute of Health (NIH) study, teens - especially girls - with strong religious views are more likely to abstain from sex than the typical teen.

For junior Meaghan Randolph, who is Pentecostal, her religious restrictions extend beyond simply abstaining from sex. "Making out and stuff like that, we wouldn't do that," Randolph explains.

The Baha'i faith, a Middle Eastern religion, has instilled similar values in senior Jackie Villadsen. Baha'i texts preach "chastity before marriage, fidelity after marriage." In Iran, Baha'i partners cannot even hold hands until they are engaged. But in the U.S., members of the Baha'i faith are left to interpret the texts for themselves.

Nica Treadwell serves on the Local Spiritual Assembly and the Montgomery Cluster Growth Team in the local Baha'i community. She offers Villadsen and other Baha'i youth assistance in remaining true to their beliefs while living in a sex culture that is "pushed in your face all the time." "The biggest challenge is finding a balance between applying the Baha'i standards without becoming locked out of the culture," Treadwell says.

"It's okay to have a boyfriend, but I'd rather not kiss," says Villadsen, explaining her personal take on the Baha'i faith. "If I were to date someone now, I would limit it at the start to just holding hands."

For Jehovah's Witness senior Danielle Foster, dating is not even an option. "You date when you're planning to get married, so basically, that would eliminate dating in high school," says Foster matter-of-factly.

"You will be tempted to date a lot; you're in high school," she adds. "But you have to weigh what's more important: your religious and moral beliefs or your hormones."

It's a choice Foster faced last spring when she started hanging out with and eventually dating a guy. Racked with guilt, Foster realized after a few months that the relationship was doomed from the start. "I was being torn two ways: Though I liked him, the way I was raised and my personal religious beliefs were more important, and I couldn't let them go for a guy," says Foster. She broke up with him.

Looking back on it, Foster knows she made the right decision. "The thing is, dating as a teenager, you may start out just holding hands, but one thing leads to another, and your romantic interest is bound to increase," she says. "Why put yourself in a
situation where you would be tempted?"

Temptations

Eldridge often finds resistance to her convictions in the teenage dating world. "Boys have one thing on their mind," she says with a knowing smile. Luckily, Eldridge's pledge of virginity is not a problem for her current boyfriend of three months. "I've finally found someone who hasn't even mentioned the subject," she says.

In middle school, after her best friend confided in Eldridge that she had lost her virginity, Eldridge found herself questioning her own beliefs. Maybe she should do it, she thought; it's not that big of a deal. The choice was on her mind the entire weekend. But that Sunday at church, the topic of the sermon was the purity of the body. "There I was thinking about losing my virginity, and here the preacher was," Eldridge remembers. "I was like, that's the sign; I just won't do it.'"

Randolph cannot even begin to fathom giving up on her faith. "Everything is so into my heart," says Randolph. "I can't imagine straying away from what I believe in."

Keeping the faith

These religious Blazers stand out in a culture that has become increasingly preoccupied with sex. According to the Kaiser Family Foundation, 83 percent of episodes of the top 20 TV shows watched by teens in 2003 contained some sexual content.

Forty-two percent of songs on the top 10 CDs in 1999 also contained some sexual content, according to the National Institute on Media and the Family. In the video game "Grand Theft Auto: Vice City," kids can even have sex with a prostitute and then kill her.

Treadwell, who has worked with Baha'i organizations around the world, sees American culture as a particularly formidable obstacle. "This is the most spiritually challenging place I've ever lived," she says, recognizing that it is especially difficult for teens. "The Baha'i youth are asked to embody the highest standards of chastity and morality in a world where these standards are experiencing increasing decay."

But ultimately, these Blazers seem to be defying temptation and their own doubts while remaining true to their hearts, which continue to beat to a different drum. "I'm not the best person in my religion," admits Eldridge. "But to not [have sex], that motivates me; it keeps me on my religious toes."