Creepy costuming

It's Halloween time, baby! You know what that means: candy, scary movies, witches, goblins, candy, mummies, graveyards, bats, spider webs, haunted houses and of course, candy. But unless you want to be a poor sport, you have to work for your sour Warheads and three-month-old Twix bars. Don't be shy – you can never grow too old for free candy. Now all you need is the perfect, scary costume. As usual, Silver Chips Online comes to the rescue!

Five Scariest Things to Be for Halloween:

5) A carbohydrate – Think again if you thought that forgoing carbs was a thing of the past. New research is showing that the Atkins' Diet and other similarly fashioned low-carb, high-protein diets are gaining popularity once more. People desperate to lose weight will shriek with fear if you come near them with fettuccini pasta and garlic bread. Don't worry, you can choose from a wide range of costumes from chicken fried rice to mashed potatoes to a roll of French bread. And don't just dress up – carry a sample with you! The wafting smell of carbs will really make them run.

4) The Redskins – Unfortunately, the fear that arises from these costumes are not due to the 'Skins being formidable, strong or fierce, but rather because of the risk involved. It might give you some sort of thrill to see how long you can walk around until the general Washington Metropolitan area jumps you.

3) Kim Jong-Il – Like scaring people without actually doing anything? Want to move around in a cloud of secrecy and rouse the whole world with the mention of your name? Well, here's your chance! Grab some platform shoes (he's embarrassed of his 5' 3" height), a drab gray military outfit and an Elvis style wig and hit the streets. Forget, "Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat!" try, "Nukes or not? Hide in pits, give me goods or I'll throw some fits!"

2) Mark Foley – Creep out teenagers, adults and children alike with your odd behavior! Armed with a laptop to send instant messages and a bank account to dole out gifts, you will scare anyone out of their mind when they see you roaming around so many children. Having your foot in your mouth is optional.

1) A color-coded ID – With all the attention that "The Washington Post" has given to the new color-coded ID "scandal," more than it ever has about overpopulation, failing students or inadequate teachers at Blair, one would think that IDs are the spawn of Satan. According to listeners calling in on a local radio station, these IDs promote segregation in school and are akin to the Star of David that the Nazis forced the Jews to wear. Others say they are a "hideous" embarrassment and the brainchild of a power-tripping tyrannical administration. So, Blazers, take your pick from a variety of spooky colors, including blood red, goth black, murky maroon or ghost white.

Whatever you choose, remember, it's Halloween! Get out there, have fun, don't do anything illegal, and most importantly, don't eat the stale Twix bar.