Blood and guts won't save this flop
I don't consider myself a huge horror movie fan, and I don't have the strongest stomach when it comes to gore. Whoops! I just eliminated any reason to ever go within ten miles of a showing of "Hostel," writer/director Eli Roth's newest diabolical creation.
The setup, of course is typical of most horror movies: lame, cliché and unimportant. Two friends, Josh (Derek Richardson) and Paxton (Jay Hernandez), go to Europe on vacation. How trite! Following a juvenilely-shot sex sequence in Amsterdam that made me wonder if 12-year-old boys made this movie, things turn for the worse when the two buddies are lured to a hostel in Slovakia promising a good time. Josh disappears from the hostel at which they are staying and is taken to a factory-like torture extravaganza where people can pay money to live out their sick fantasies on kidnapped humans.Let the disturbing gore begin. Josh is teased with various weapons by his torturer (dressed in typical mad-scientist attire) and vomits with fear only to get his Achilles tendons sliced, following being drilled in the chest. I had a really hard time watching, and at some points I couldn't even look. And this is just the first guy.
Paxton searches for Josh and falls victim to the same torture factory as Josh. Though "Hostel" had been thoroughly disgusting up until now, the torture becomes sickly pornographic. Paxton's torturer makes sexual noises, looking overcome by arousal as he snaps oversized scissors in Paxton's face. I practically up and left at this point, I was so offended. After an accident with a chainsaw and a bit of luck on Paxton's part, he escapes into the hallways of the facility. Paxton's flight from his capturers is very intense, despite the mild acting in the rest of the movie.
My expectations were low, and I had every intention of getting a couple of spooks, and possibly some laughs, from the characteristic bad acting of the horror film genre. Although the latter of these played out in spades, the spooks appeared in "Hostel" sparsely, taking the form of sheer gross-out violence.
If you think pornographic torture is good horror entertainment, then this movie is for you. For the other 99.9 percent of moviegoers, avoid "Hostel" like you would a perverted sociopath coming to blowtorch your eyes out.
"Hostel" (95 minutes) is rated R for pervasive, graphic torture scenes that put the moviemakers' sanity into question, strong sexual content, drug content and pervasive potty mouthing.
Lincoln Bostian. Lincoln is in his third year on print staff as art editor. Lincoln was rushed onto staff in the wake of Shansby's departure, and has attempted to sustain what he can of the art department in his stead. He is a senior and has no … More »
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